I won't let you close enough to hurt me

I won't let you close enough to hurt me.
powerful words.
especially when starting out,
on the adventure of a new relationship.

I will let you close enough to hurt me,
but lust is present.
there is more to this than initial physical attraction.
most would run away,
afraid to put themselves out into the void of uncertainty.

when do you open yourself up?
What signs do YOU need to feel safe in your security,
that your feelings will be reciprocated,
rather than rejected,
deserted.

We all know, nothing ventured nothing gained
but what are you willing to venture?
to risk?
To lose?

I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
but does that make me close myself off,
to the wonderful rewards,
from taking such a high risk?

The fear is bone chilling,
it is an opening up of your deepest darkest self,
in hopes that your mate will take what is offered,
and nurture it,
except it,
love it as they do you.

I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
but what you willing to risk for love?
Humiliation?
Rejection?

I will risk it!
The wave of emotions assures me I'm alive.

And so I open myself up to you,
completely,
unconditionally,
and let the fires sweep through my indecisiveness
and burn away my second thoughts.

Eric Hodgson August 13, 2011 written on the 6 train.

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