Thoughts on the Train

I'll be home for Christmas  I hear that song and still get teary eyed.  Christmas for me was a wonderful time of year. Everyone seemed to be a little bit nicer to each other, Smile a little bit more, And revel in the happiness of the season. In my home, it was full of snow and lights and yes, a sleigh or two. When that song plays, I remember a better time.  When we weren't the adults, When the season was filled with magic, A tingling on a cold quiet night,  A light snow that falls over the tree ridden landscape, The moon shining through the trees, Lighting up the fresh fallen snow on a clear crisp night, making for excellent sledding. A giant fire burning in a fireplace big enough to walk into. Friends and family together, laughing and smiling. Wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. In the city, store windows are decorated, and grandiose Christmas trees decorated with sparkling silver and gold. Street lamps hung with brightly...

Treated like royalty People knew my name The finest restaurants The best champagne A thoughtful gift Given by one held dear An evening of bliss Without an ounce if fear A four day journey To a land unto its own White sands and ocean My heart feels at home A dinner prepared On my birthday night With care and love Proven in every bite Making love Tender and right You mad me feel special My own shining white night Thank you for the week My dear sweet man It will be etched in my memory I'm sure that was the plan Now it's my turn I hope I can return the favor Your birthday is coming And with me, Prepare to savor

Four years together, high school memories, growing pains, awkward feelings, we knew each other well! Graduation, memories, dances, good times and bad. Braces, new cars, loves old and new. We didn't really know how much "life" would be in front of us. I wasn’t' there: When you met your spouse, When you fell in love, When you got married, When you had your children. But you were on my mind. I wasn't there: When your child took their first steps, when you sent your child off to school, when you celebrated anniversaries and birthdays, but you were on my mind. I wasn't there: When your child came home crying from their first heartbreak When they rejoiced from their first team win When they attended their junior prom But you were on my mind. I wasn’t there: When your child left this world, now that you are in pain, now that you feel like tomorrow will never  come. I don't want you to just be on my mind…. I want to hold...

I smiles as I kiss him good bye It is a First date But seems like it's more.... And so I smile I listen to "call me maybe" On the way home A smile on my lips Comfort, Is the word to describe it Ease, Perfection in the search The song screams, Boy since you came into my life You make me feel right Call me maybe ..... Except there is no maybe I ride the train thinking of his eyes his smile his laugh his touch To my music I turn, The romantics "The secrets that you keep" Plays but a renovated dance mix "I hear the secrets that you keep" Except I feel I have no secrets from him Why should I keep secrets, There is no reason. I get home..... I undress I think of him I fall asleep Dreaming of the our first date, And wake up still smiling. Today will be a good day.

The mist The mist is thick Swirling Depositing dew on my hands and face. I stand in the mist as I search  What am I searching for? my dreams? my life?  my way? A path must exist,  I feel it's pull,  but in many directions. I am torn and  confused, Unfocused. A light shines in the mist and I walk towards it.   Images of my life appear. Decisions I've made, Good and bad. I would like to change some. The light goes out,  and I am once again left in darkness with the mist swirling about my feet. In the distance I see another light. I head towards it  but as I get closer the mist thickens,  Nearly impassable. I can barely make out images of myself.  Happy holding hands,  enjoying my   life.  I want to see more but the mist obscures my vision. Another light appears.  I head towards it easily. The images are clear here. They are of my sexual...

What do you do when your heart aches. For a friend For that one person that just gets you. What do you do when you find them... And they don't want you. When they are afraid to see that what's in front of them is real and not a dream. "Be my friend." Is what they say as they cover your neck in kisses and touch you gently, arousing desire that cannot be acted on.... Because their heart truly belongs to another....... Honesty..... Easy to come by in words but seldom found in emotions and matters of the misguided heart. I did not think I would care this much about him. I thought I could handle it and be patient . But as he slips from my bed to sleep on the couch and cry himself to sleep dreaming of another.......  m y heart dies. Bleeding as if severed by bands of barbed wire. And now it is my turn to cry myself to sleep. I know he will never be mine but still I hope.... I pray that he will open his eyes and see what is the...